Sebastian Plus William Equals Claude
by sheldonthewhale
Summary: While attending to his young master one morning, Sebastian happens upon a rather interesting cat. He disobeys his master to take her in and protect her. But he's the one who will need protecting, seeing as the other butler is on his way, for revenge because of what Sebastian did…to his family.


**One half of the account known as sheldonthewhale here, and i just want everyone to know. THAT I AM A WHORE FOR REVIEWS. Never mind Latez, that bitch (i say that affectionately bro) gets reviews for her fics on her account like no tomorrow...ass (not affectionate)...**

**Other half known as Latez here! My bro up there ^ is just a super needy bitch (I also say that lovingly brosky) but besides that, I am also a whore for reviews (this is why we're bros) and because of that please do drop a review! We really appreciate it! Oh and who's the one here who got 33 follows here Sheldon? That's right, ME (read it and weep biatchhhh).**

**Oh and this fanfiction came to mind because of Latez's cat. she's in the profile photo actually, that there is Princess. She can be an ass or ****a wonderful cat, but the thought of Sebastian encountering her was to much XD.**

**Enjoy the read!**

* * *

Outside the city of London, in the midst of a forest, stood a grand mansion that was the Phantomhive estate. The butler of this estate, Sebastian Michaelis, was currently walking through the halls pushing a cart that contained his master's breakfast. Upon entering Ciel's room the butler stood and watched him for a moment, 'The young master looked so fucking peaceful when he sleeps', Sebastian thought.

He walked over to the heavy curtains to open them and allow the morning's sunlight to grace his young master's face when a sound behind him caused the butler to stop moving.

It was somewhere between a growl and a guttural meow, and he turned his head around to look at the wooden door leading into his master's quarters. The sound of claws on wood came from outside the door, and the growling/something dying sound came again.

Sebastian opened the door and saw nothing, but heard the sweetest meow he had ever heard. The sound came again and the air around him shook with the sweet sound waves which his demonic eardrums registered and translated to his brain. He looked down to see a mass of black and white, quite a large mass at that.

The cat was lying down, but so fat that it's short stubby legs disappeared underneath it's pancake-like body. He bent down to pet the cat like he would any other feline (as Sebastian was infatuated with every cat in this world). However, when he did, this rather fat animal hissed and swatted an angry paw at him.

"Playing hard to get now are we?" he asked seductively, to the damn cat.

The cat just stared at him through narrowed eyes. He left said kitty to wake his master and promptly got the young earl dressed. Mainly because Ciel (the earl) was too stupid and lazy to do it himself. The young master was groggy and pissed as Sebastian buttoned on the Earl's white dress shirt.

The cat approached, curious, and meowed it's deathly ugly yet cute meow and pressed it's chubby body against the demons tailcoat. Ciel noticed.

"Dear god, what is that damned sound?" he whined, lifting his hands to cover his ears.

Sebastian smiled and totally ignored the young master as he turned back to the cat.

"So, you finally relinquish yourself to me, is that it?"

"Sebastian, you sound like you're fighting war with..." The young master's blue eyes gazed downward which lay to rest on a pancake.

His brow twitched with anger. "Sebastian, what business does this black and white pancake have with my chamber?"

The "pancake" then proceeded to grow legs and move. Let's just say, the young master flipped shit.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?"

The cat hissed as Sebastian tried to yet again pet the damned creature, to which he did not succeed. Sebastian, defeated, turned back to the boy and composed himself back to his usual professionalism.

"It is a creature known as a 'cat', sir."

"Do you think I'm retarded? I am aware of that obvious fact! My question is why that thing is in my manor, much less my bedroom!"

For once, Sebastian didn't have a legitimate answer and remained silent as he simply stared at the master.

"I asked you a question, servant!" Ciel snapped angrily.

Sebastian shook his head, "I simply don't know. But when I entered your chambers to serve breakfast, I heard a pleasant meow sound outside the door." he grinned evilly, "Seeing as the young master is most gracious, and the poor creature seems lost and hungr-"

"I don't care about the damned things problems." Ciel cut him off, "Get it out now."

Without a second thought Sebastian bowed, "My apologies sir, I will see to its disposal right away."

"You sure as hell better."

As Sebastian exited the room with said cat, he could hear Ciel mutter "Hungry? Ha, that thing is going to contract diabetes with the way it's looking."

_Little prick doesn't have a soul at all doesn't he?_ Sebastian thought as he carried the plump piece of fur underneath the paws so its claws wouldn't reach his gloriously sexy demon face. _I'm not even sure if I want to eat it now..._

The cat's ears twitched and its tail waggled playfully as it was carried, brushing against the demon's chest.

_It's so precious!_ He squealed inwardly, wanting so badly to hug the cat with all his might.

At that moment he heard a giant crash came followed by Mey-Rin's flustered scream. He approached the room where he was met with the view of the clumsy woman scrambled on the floor attempting to pick up at least five broken dishes, in the process cutting herself on the sharp glass. The blood ran freely from her hand and she yet again, flustered, attempted to stop it by running out of the room to wash it down. It didn't help that Sebastian was standing in the doorway observing the scene with a cute feline.

Let's just say, this girl is on the verge of collapsing from major blood loss.

_S-Sebastian with a cat!?_ She literally had a nose bleed to compliment her bloodied hand from the complete and utter cuteness of the scene she was met with. Sebastian considered helping the maid, but then the precious cat in his arms meowed once more and he instantly forgot the dying woman on the floor. Instead, he carried the pancake resembling animal to his room. Once having entered the room he set the cat down on the bed, and was confident that the creature wouldn't attempt to jump down and run away_. If she jumps from that height her legs will break and I doubt the thing can even run. _His suspicions were confirmed when the animal 'waddled' around the edges of the hard mattress, looking over the edge as if wishing for a ramp to appear.

While the cat went about being cute, he opened the wardrobe in his room to release the many cats he had stored in there. The abused animals had a chance to stretch their taught limbs (as there were well over 15 cats in there, they must have been piled up on top of each other), he had been concerned for their health but that's why there was now a secret compartment in the back...

As soon as he opened the door and was confident that all of them had been released, he turned to see an interesting spectacle.

On top of his pillow (and taking up the whole space) was the fat cat. Sitting on the rest of the bed were the other cats, all lined up and paying attention to the queen before them, as if she were talking. One cat in the front row meowed something very softly and the fat one smacked it upside the head so hard its neck snapped and it died.

The way the fat cat ignored the event as soon as it happened made him think of her not as a queen, but as a dainty princess. Consistently able to overlook any wrongdoing as if it were someone else's fault.

"Princess?" he asked the cat. She looked over to him and the others took this chance to run back to the safety of the wardrobe.

The demon and the cat stared at one another for a long time. Sebastian felt something odd forming in his mind, it wasn't the usual infatuation he had with normal cats, and this was different. While he kept gazing into her bright jade eyes that blinked lazily once or twice.

His attention was torn from here when the entire mansion shook violently.

* * *

With Princess in his arms Sebastian sprinted across the manor to the kitchen ready to beat the shit out of Bard for ruining his moment with the cat. She seemed perfectly content to let him carry her everywhere.

Upon arriving to his destination he was shocked to find the room perfectly fine. The cook was leaning over the oven with his cigarette in one hand and a stick of dynamite in the other, ready to light the fuse. The butler snatched the dynamite out of his coworker's hands and quickly returned his free hand under the cat before it fell from his grasp.

"Oi Sebastian what the hell did you do that for?! I was going to make the young master lunch!" the dirty blonde chef complained.

Sebastian gave him a death glare, which shut him up effectively before replying. "I doubt your inferior brain will ever realize that dynamite isn't used for cooking." He mumbled to himself mainly, though Bard defiantly heard and stood fuming. "However there are more pressing matters at hand, did you not feel the manor shake?" he asked angrily.

"Well yeah but I thought that was you." he said, now concerned. It was then that he noticed what the butler was carrying. The chef's face contorted into pure and utter confusion.

_Looks like he's trying to take a shit._ Sebastian thought happily.

"The fuck? Is that a cat!" he asked when Princess raised her head to acknowledge him. "Did you stuff it with fucking marshmallows what the hell happened?!"

"I doubt she appreciates your comments." Sebastian asked, eyebrow twitching as he lost his cool.

"Well shit I've never seen anything that big. I thought the young master was allergic to cats." he said while raising a hand to pet the feline. She watched it come into range and shot her neck forward from its recoiled position, biting Bard and drawing a surprising amount of blood.

A very feminine sneeze came from behind them and the demon went rigid.

"Sebastian..." his master's voice came from the doorway.

The butler turned to face his fate. "Yes, my lord?" he gave the child a cat-like smile.

"What, the fuck, did I tell you?" he said before sneezing again.

"I believe you asked me to remove the cat from the manor sir." he felt the shota's temper flare.

"THEN WHY THE HELL IS IT- *Achoo*- STILL HERE?!" he screamed in a fit of rage. Bard took this distraction to leave the room through the door that lead outside, but paused in the doorway, unsure if he should take another step.

"Um, Sebastian..."

The blonde was ignored. "My apologies sir," He attempted to bow and place a hand over his heart, but the cat got in the way. The demon opted for placing one of the cat's fore paws over its own heart and tilting it forward so it bowed. However both their faces remained as serious as can be.

Ciel was about to reply but shut his mouth when the mansion shook once more and this time it brought him to his knees. He looked over to a screaming Bardroy to see his blonde servant scrambling back inside and slamming the door before leaning against it panting.

Once righted he spoke. "Sebastian what was that?!" his earl demeanor faltered and a frightened child was left. The demon looked out the window to see the sky had become an ominous black with streaks of red lightning flashing every now and then.

Sebastian walked outside with Princess in his arms and was greeted with an unfriendly sight.

Three large wolves nearly twice the size of Pluto stood where the forest met the garden, a long ways off. They had long black fur that was matted with crimson blood and burning eyes of the same red. Patches of skin was missing from several places along their bodies, and no flesh was underneath. Instead there was only bone and a red ball dull light that grew stronger and faded, nestled where the heart would be. The skeletal wolves stood crouched down a bit, lips (those who had lips anyway) curled back to reveal teeth glistening with fresh blood.

They were in a triangle like formation, tails and hackles raised and poised to charge. The largest wolf was in the center and on its back and clad in black sat a man. Claude Faustus.

"So to what do I owe the pleasure of Spiderman gracing this estate?" Sebastian smiled, yelling across the garden so the other could hear. Princess's fangs were bared, growling even more angrily than usual at the sight of the wolves and demon while Ciel stood in the doorway watching.

Claude adjusted his glasses, and calmly replied, "There is no need to explain my actions. My reasons are... personal." Sebastian could have sworn he saw the man's upper lip quiver ever so slightly as he said the word.

A devilish smile crossed Sebastian's face. "Could this have anything to do with William?"

Claude now possessed noticeable tears welling in his usual cold, uncaring eyes. "You left mother and me to go off on your own agenda!" he screamed. "She couldn't afford to support both of us with her usual job! So she had to get a separate job as... oh god it twists my heart to say it..."

"A prostitute, correct?"

This caused Claude to snap, "She did what she had to do! I mean what were we supposed to do? I was only a child!" The tears ran freely now, Claude's face filled with all kinds of bottled up emotion, now released.

_What the fuck am I watching? _Ciel thought.

"Ah yes, 'Willis' I think it was. The girl always was a whore. And I left because she had a drinking problem." Sebastian shrugged, "Well, just look at her now. Or should I say 'him', now. She's come a long way since then and she must have made good money with that job to get a sex-change."

_Sebastian's a father!?_ Ciel stood there wide-eyed and his mouth gaping but then he regained his senses. _Not that I should be surprised, Sebastian could probably get a woman pregnant by just speaking, much less staring at them._

"She couldn't take the pressure of raising me by herself. She thought that since I didn't have a father, it would be hard for me to be raised by just her. So, for me, she had a sex change to show me what having a REAL FATHER was like." He paused "I remember the day, the day after she had her sex-change. She was still unsure about our way of income. So, she kept with that 'side job.' She didn't realize that she still looked outwardly like a woman, and it never crossed her mind not to keep pleasing the male customers." Claude had reached the point when you're crying so intensely that you have to choke out the words, "A d-drunk man wasn't pleased and she was beaten to death with his bottle. When she died she must have turned into a grim reaper, somehow."

"Well, SON, you must simply learn to suck it up." Sebastian replied indifferently. "Mommy's alive correct? Why don't you pay her a visit?"

"You sure as hell know I can't do that." Claude had managed to wipe away most of his tears and returned to his usual stiff-ass personality. "Since you changed your appearance, mother is oblivious to the fact. I only know because of our demon senses. I can SMELL the scum you hold from leaving mother." He adjusted his glasses for the second time, "If you're trying antagonize me, I can assure you it won't work."

_It seems like it already has,_ Sebastian thought.

"But, enough of trivial memories," he pet the wolf he was on causing it to howl eagerly, "I've come to do battle."

Accepting the challenge, Sebastian carefully put down the cat, realizing he couldn't do epic battle with a giant thing blocking his face and using up both of his hands.

He reached down timidly to pet the creature, but was surprised when the cat showed no signs of struggle and stroked her ears gently, "You just watch my beautiful Princess, I'll kick his ass."

"Um, Sebastian I'm right here!" Ciel yelled from behind the two.

The feline then reached a paw out and touched the demons trousers. It was as if the Princess was giving her knight a blessing for battle. Realizing this, Sebastian chuckled and gave another one of his seductive smiles and stood up, still facing the creature; and bowed. "It is my honor."

"Bloody hell, pay attention to me you prick!" Ciel was fuming.

The ominous clouds and bolts of lightning off in the distance behind Claude added to the sheer epicness of the battle to take place. With the storm coming, the wind picked up and caused Sebastian's beautiful black hair to whip at his face; his red eyes narrowed and staring threateningly at the spider that needed to be squashed. Claude still sat on the back of the large wolf (just imagine Claude on a wolf, it's BADASS) the lightning flickered and reflected itself on his glasses causing a white sheen to cover his golden eyes at times. The wolves were restless; many kept moving in place and most had saliva and blood running from their bared fangs.

"Sebastian! Enough of this nonsense!" Ciel removed his eye patch revealing the contract mark, "This is an order, remove this pest from my grounds at once!" It shined its bright purple glow.

Sebastian's eyes glowed their fuchsia hue in response and he removed his gloves with his mouth, letting them fall lazily to the floor. He let his hand lay to rest over his heart, "Yes, my lord."

Claude yelled across the field, "Are you just going to stand there? Being the gentleman that I am, I'll allow my opponent to make the first move." One of wolves took a step forward, snarling towards Sebastian and Claude promptly smacked it on the head and scolded it. "I'm ready anytime, anywhere."

Sebastian walked forward and breathed seductively, "Then please," he raised both his arms horizontally and flexed his fingers, "come at me."

His walk suddenly turned into a brisk charge, running in his usual ninja-like style. He nimbly slid his signature arsenal of dishware from his waistcoat and gripped it tightly.

The largest wolf let out a loud, echoing howl and began its assault on the manor, followed suit by the other wolves.

* * *

The largest demonic wolf which Claude was riding on lengthened its stride and let out a shrieking howl as it crossed the garden, kicking up the tan pebbles that marked the pathways as it ran. Sebastian charged with three butter knives in his right hand, three sharpened forks in his left, a determined glare in his blazing red eyes.

As soon as the two got close the wolf dug its legs into the ground to stop short, propelling Claude up into the air. Sebastian leaped to meet him as the other two beasts bellow flanked where he would likely land. Reaching the apex of his jump the two collided. Sebastian threw all three knives which Claude deflected with a deft hand as they came near. In return the spider demon twisted in midair to attempt to kick Sebastian in his face, a crime against the laws of the universe itself.

Sebastian bent backwards to avoid the perfectly polished shoe, as the two still remained in the air and somehow defied gravity at the moment. The three forks were sent flying towards Claude, who failed to stop all of them and one sunk deep into his shoulder. Crimson blood sprung forth from the punctured artery, staining the immaculate silver.

As the two started to fall punches flew and were blocked, though a few fists met their target. Closer to the ground Claude drew in both legs and kicked Sebastian, sending himself backwards and landing on the back of his wolf. Sebastian however, wasn't as well prepared for his decent as the two smaller wolves had judged where he would land. But before his feet could touch the ground one of them sprung forward and grabbed his right leg, the fangs piercing his calf muscle and earning a yelp of shock from the demon butler.

The wolf swung him back and forth, tearing the muscles in his leg while he felt venom from the monster's mouth seep into his system, the pounding of his heart propelling it through his veins. It burned through his body and he chose to ignore the pain, instead focusing on forcing the jaws of the demon wolf open. Using both hands he wedged open the mouth of the beast, freeing his leg and falling to the ground ungracefully.

Ciel watched from the kitchen door, wide-eyed and shaking slightly. His butler was, losing? That was impossible, he was given an order. There was no way he could lose, what would happen to him is he lost Sebastian? Who would protect him? Who'd make his food and let them constantly verbally abuse them? Who would put their manly di...?

The butler tried his best to breath to speed up his healing but it was no use, both his lungs were bruised and his ribs were broken. He was going to lose and his son would have his vengeance after all these years. The spider demon slid off his wolf, while the three demonic animals formed a triangle around him. Claude walked towards Sebastian slowly, savoring the disheveled look on his father's face.

"What do you want?!" Sebastian choked out from his lying position on the ground. He tried to sit up but his arms gave out and he opted for propping himself up on his elbows. His son looked down at him with a sadistic smile and he suddenly regretted leaving his former lover.

"I want you to suffer," he growled out, raising his ever present green and blue demonic sword. "JUST LIKE MOTHER DID!" he screamed while driving the sword downwards, toward its target. Sebastian closed his eyes, ready for the end.

But before the turquoise blade could sink into his flesh a flash grey flew across his vision and stole the sword from the pmsing Spiderman. A few feet away from the two demons a woman in white cotton pants and a loose cotton shirt of the same color. She had two cat ears, one black and the other white. Protruding from her derriere was a long black and white tail that resembled a cat's. Her emerald green eyes shone with mirth and determination as she twirled the large sword in her soft hands.

"Claude, right?" She asked the spider. He looked at the sword in her hands with confusion written all over his face. He choked on his words while trying to think how she managed to steal his sword away, she wasn't a demon. "What, cat got your tongue?"

Sebastian looked up at the woman in awe. He loved all cats, no doubt. And every now and then he would mentally comment on a woman or demon who he found rather pretty (though Sebastian never thought much of such materialistic things), but now…Now he was clearly having a mindgasm.

"P-Princess?" he stuttered while managing to sit up almost properly. He made an attempt to stand but his legs gave way like his arms once did and he crashed to the ground, his bitten leg starting to bleed more profusely.

"Sit still bitch." She said affectionately. He found himself accepting the insult/complement. Princess turned towards Claude and raised the sword. He and the wolves got into a fighting stance, now recovered from their moment of stupidity.

Claude drew a blade from his tailcoat and charged Princess, who held the sword horizontally and ran towards her opponent with a badass battle-cry. Nearing each other Claude flipped the knife in his hand and threw a quick punch to her leg while sliding to avoid her slash of the sword. The punch hit and he quickly drew the knife in the same hand along the bruised flesh.

Princess let out a yowl of frustration and continued to follow through with the sword, turning to face a now standing Claude. He raced at her again and this time threw the knife at her midsection and the dagger sunk into her. She turned in the opposite direction so her back was to him before drawing the blade out, a rush of scarlet blood followed. As he reached her she turned quickly again and her arm snapped out, the demonic sword catching his cheek but no more.

Before she could follow through with his knife her arm was caught in the mouth of one of the smaller wolves. It lifted her into the air without piercing her flesh as her arm was in-between it's smaller teeth. The largest caught her dangling legs the same way and tightened its grip till it hurt to struggle against them. The one near her mouth panted in her face and she gagged on the foul scent of rotten souls, momentarily losing focus.

The third demon wolf then caught her thrashing tail and bit down, hard.

Princess's emerald eyes snapped open as she let out a menacing screech that caused the wolves to drop her quite suddenly, pawing at their abused ears. Claude had his sword back in his hands and was charging her near lifeless form, but Princess was faster as she stood quickly and dove between his legs. While sliding under him she turned over and dragged her sharp claws through his testicles. He was a man no more.

While a tear fell from a shocked Spiderman, The cat-woman used her other clawed hand to stop herself by dragging it into the ground. Once righted she pounced on his shoulders and bit down with her canines on the back of his neck, and rolled over him. Claude went tumbling forward and Princess was on top of him, straddling the fiend's lap while clawing away at his face chest and stomach.

She heard a recovered Sebastian in the background, slashing away at the wolves with his silverware. Without their true leader they were helpless. The ground shook as each giant demonic wolf fell, bested by the butler.

Claude managed to regain a sense of being-focused-once-more-even-though-he-just-had-hi s-balls-cut-offness and shoved a weary Princess off his lap, sadly noticing he had no erection because she was there.

Standing and facing each other once more the two prepared to go at it once again but the revving of a chainsaw distracted them.

"Hello my darlings~!" A gay trill followed the chainsaw's roar and out from the shrubbery burst a flaming homo.

"Grell?" Ciel screamed from wherever the hell he was standing, "What the bloody hell?!"

"Oh nice to see you to darling," Grell hissed through his shark-like teeth, "Sorry but I'm here on _official_business."

"Like hell you are." An authoritative voice sounded from behind the red-haired reaper, "All you ever seem poised on is seeing that." William emerged, pointing his death scythe hedge cutters (I think?) at Sebastian, healed but clothes still ripped and revealing bared skin.

Claude was stunned, watching as William stood there. _Mother..._

"Well come on Willy!" Grell whined, "I need _motivation_ to get work done!" he glanced at the beautiful demon, "Mmmm and he's** MORE** than enough!" Grell was now practically having an orgasm from just looking at the man.

"Whatever." William adjusted his glances and spoke now outwardly, "We were called here due to the large collective slaughter of souls."

"Souls?" Princess spoke up receiving a surprised stare from William at the very appearance of a cat-like woman, "Oh you mean the ones those _dogs_ ate?" she let the word 'dogs' hiss longer and her tail twitched, irritated. "They needed them to grow stronger to fight Sebastian."

"And just who are you?" Grell questioned, staring at Princess irritated that such a woman would even fight alongside his dear Bassy, "You're style is just dreadful by the way."

Princess didn't even bother to bare her fangs, "Whatever you say mister transvestite, the name's Princess." She stopped and smiled, "At least I've been to his bedroom."

"Why I nev-!"

"That's enough Sutcliff." William held out his death scythe to stop Grell from attacking the cat-woman with his chainsaw, "We have more pressing matters." He glanced at the wolves, who had managed to heal their wounds despite being cut down by the butler, "Our death scythes' are the only way to get the job done."

"Job..." Claude whispered loudly for everyone to hear from where he had been standing.

Sebastian smiled, "Oh this should be good." He glanced over to William who had begun his assault on the undead wolves along with Grell, blood flying along with many cinematic records. "Hey William?"

A wolf had begun swinging its claw at William's face when he blocked it with his death scythe, "What is it demon? I'm kind of busy right now!" he replied irritated.

"I love you."

Claude's eyes darted to Sebastian from where he knelt defeated on the ground, "You wouldn't dare."

William's face flushed with embarrassment as he continued fighting back, "W-what the hell?!"

_Mom_, Claude thought, tears were starting to well in his eyes again. _don't fall for his lies!_

"You know you have a really great side," Sebastian continued, "It's always been your backside." He gave a sexy wink.

Claude sobbed even more.

Princess whistled, "Hot damn Sebastian, gettin' dirty!"

Grell stopped suddenly when he heard Sebastian's voice, "What is this feeelingggg?" He could feel the heat rising from his pants to his face, "I-I... MY TWO FAVORITE MEN ARE IN LOVE!?" He screamed in pure ecstasy, starting his little gay dance with his chainsaw still roaring in his arms.

"Be careful with that you fool!" William hissed when Grell almost cut him with his dance, "There's still one more of these godforsaken vermin to be dealt with!"

_This just keeps getting more and more awkward_ Ciel thought, uncomfortable.

"Ah William, I remember when we used to make love." Sebastian spoke, reminiscing, "Yes, your light fingers touching me _all_ over, you were like a hot mess when I started li-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Ciel screamed, his face a complete cherry red, "Just stop it. Right now."

Princess whooped at Sebastian's comment, "Ohhhhh shit! You gonna take that Claude?"

By this point, Claude had curled up into a comfort ball, sobbing silent tears and whimpering loudly.

"Seems like he is going take it like a total bitch." Sebastian walked over and high-fived Princess' waiting hand.

The final wolf was large and hard to take down. William and Grell had to work together to take it on.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMOREEE!" Grell gave a maniac laugh, smoke somehow blowing out of his nose and his death scythe roaring louder and moving faster than usual, "I'm all hot and bothered! There has to be a way to release this feeling!" His large eyes darting to the wolf, "You're perfect!" The raging homosexual charged the wolf straight on and jumped in the air, splitting the large beast right down the middle.

The beast fell, bested by the reaper, with Grell standing over it triumphantly.

"What PURE AND UTTER HELL?!" William fumed when the last wolf had fallen pointing his finger at Sebastian, "I've concluded that you're gay." He pointed to Princess, "You're just a dirty whore." Finally Claude, "And you won't stop crying! WHAT AM I NOT GETTING?"

"MOMMY!" Claude finally screamed from his ball.

"W-what?"

"That's right William, you're a mother." Sebastian added.

William just stood there, shocked. "Um NO. If it's not clear I am most definitely a MAN. Last time I checked, I have a PENIS."

"Haha you said penis..." William gave a death glare to Princess silencing her, "Sorry."

"I mean you never know Willy" Grell blushed, "It could've.. ya know... morphed."

Sebastian burst out laughing while William smacked Grell with his hedge cutters.

"Mother" Claude's angsty confession was beginning, "I-I've always missed you, ever since you were gone..."

"I never left!" William screamed back, but then realized what he just said, "I mean whoever this mother you're talking about isn't me!"

"Oh but you are," Sebastian smiled, "Doesn't 'Willis' ring any bells? Hmm honey?"

_Willis?_ Something inside William stirred, an unknown emotion or was it a memory trying to surface. The reaper held a hand up to rub his agitated forehead now complete with a headache.

Claude had crawled over and was now kneeling defeated in front of his unknowing mother, he wrapped his arms around the man's pant leg; his tears stained the fabric wet.

William knew his first impulse would be to kick the demon away, but his arms moved without his mind thinking. William smoothed Claude's hair with hand.

"Mumsy?" Claude's watery golden eyes looked up to the reaper's green and gold.

"Dearest..." William's lip began to quiver, eyes glazed with new emotion... love.

"Awe~!" All the girls (including Grell) began to squee at the scene.

"I missed you so much!" Claude cried out while digging his face deeper into the man's pant leg.

"It's quite alright." William said soothingly. Which shocked pretty much everyone

"Damn..." Ciel muttered, not expecting that a scene from a soap opera was happening on his grounds.


End file.
